moonstrualcycle | (no subject)

[ There are so many other things to address before that, though. Like, what kind of cheesy pasta? Italian cheesy pasta? Macaroni? Shells? Does it need parmesan flakes? She's getting the parmesan flakes from the fridge, because of course it does. Do they need wine for this. Do they have wine.

She's getting the chocolate milk, too. Then she will come and sit down with her bounty. Look at this domestic eating at a table nonsense. What an influence you've had, Isa. ]

[next time there'll be vegetables included, but they're not there yet. and idk some kind of white cheese, vaguely Italian-y, and there's probably wine somewhere, given how much Isa enjoys cheese-based food. there might be some hard cider in the fridge, too, that's always good.]

Okay, so we're agreed that anything horrible we say to each other here is just part of clearing the air, right?

[what are they even talking about that's unpleasant for the other person. Isa has Xemnas, Lea has...? i can't remember.]

Don't see how we'll get through this otherwise.

[ Apple cider would be really good right now, but they probably shouldn't mix such things. Chocolate milk it is for her, but she's not gonna get a glass for it. ]

You're the one who has the most to get out here, anyway.

And I wish that weren't the case, it's just a sign of how little we actually talked to each other.

[that's gross, Lea, even if Isa hardly ever drinks it. Isa's gonna get a couple of bites of food into her before things kick off.]

[ Excuse you, Lea's had her mouth in much more intimate places that Isa hasn't found gross. ]

Could be worse.

[ She's just... having some trouble figuring out how, exactly. But by all means, kick things off whenever.]

I suppose.

[sigh. Isa's not sure how either, or how to start. there's a lot more about herself and what went on for Lea to find fault with than the other way around, for sure.]

Alright, well. I never let on that Xemnas and I were together, and that's on me, but you partially melted the shower curtain and a shampoo bottle over it, which seems to me like an overreaction. I shouldn't be surprised, it is you, but.

[unfortunately, Xemnas is going to be discussed here, sorry to say. Isa has some issues to discuss regarding Lea, but they're not nearly as pressing or unpleasant, probably.]

Are you calling me a hothead?

[ Bahahaha, she's so funny. She isn't laughing, though, and kinda has that tightness around her eyes that comes out when she's uncomfortable but trying not to be. (This basically never happens.) ]

Why's that an overreaction? I could have set it on fire, and then it would've been intentional.

Because we were both consenting adults, and—

[i'm buckled in for a 100% uncomfortable thread, idk about you. Isa lets out a huff, because she wasn't really expecting to bare her soul this soon, but.]

You didn't seem like you'd care at the time, we already weren't acting like friends at that point. Or like you'd tell me to stop, which I also didn't want. I guess it's not really an overreaction, I just wasn't expecting it.

[ Ouch. It's true, but ouch. She's gonna stuff some pasta in her mouth while she listens, so she doesn't feel inclined to interrupt. ]

Of course I'd tell you to stop. But you're wrong about me not caring. I would've been happy just to have you talking to me.

[drawing blood already, why this. Isa's sort of pushing her pasta around in the bowl and not looking at Lea.]

We didn't have much to talk about after a while. I was doing my work, which was all boring as hell, and you were doing... whatever you were doing.

[she should've asked, ever, she knows.]

Missions, mostly. You should know, you were the one handing them out.

[ Who knows what else she did. Anything to pass the time and fake some kind of feeling or entertainment. Before Roxas came along, anyway. ]

Not for like. A year after it started.

[in what i've got, they were still getting shit organized and built and set up for two or three years. it wasn't everyone but Xemnas and Saix going out on missions erryday until after that sometime, which was right around when Saix was put in charge of doing so. regardless, a 19-year-old should never have had that power, and Isa's deflecting, as she does.]

Oh, you mean before. When I was getting dragged around by the science brigade, figuring out how to set shit on fire and being told what to do and when to do it. Well, until we found Demyx.

[ Ah, the sound of metal fork against glass plate. Real talk, this pasta is delicious. Too bad this conversation sucks. ]

Guess I should be happy they stopped babysitting me. Knew I'd never run off on 'em, I guess.

[Isa's going to suck when this is over, as a reward for participating in this. /um]

We were still teenagers then. I was glad for the direction, but you and I differ on that.

[she bumps her foot against Lea's under the table.]

I'm sorry I was too distracted to be there for you all those years until Roxas showed up. I didn't really have a friend during most of that time either, but at least I had something, someone to willingly spend time with.

Kind of feels like you're rubbing it in my face. Especially when the best I had was Demyx.

[ Hopefully it's clear, by her tone and by virtue of it being her, that Lea knows she isn't. She bumps her foot back, just in case, then sweeps her hands through her hair, pulling it into a sleek ponytail with one hand and covering her eye with the other. ]

Here, get saddled with the new kid when you're not being given orders. Maybe you can brush up on pretending to be normal.

[ She's not even trying with this Xigbar impression — it's just a deadpan reenactment. Demyx did help, though. It gave Axel someone to talk to, someone new, closer to her age, that she didn't harbor any memories of feeling anything toward. They did hang out, in as much as Nobodies do. Mostly this equated to missions, and then fucking off after the mission was done to pretend they were still on the clock. Isa probably didn't hear much in the way of details, but it would be a while before really lying about where she was happened. ]

[Isa snorts, because honestly fuck Xigbar, especially knowing what they know now.]

I really don't know how you ended up being that person that new people got shoved at, but it worked out alright in the end.

[meaning Roxas and Xion, of course. she does feel terrible now about having essentially abandoned Lea for all that time. there's going to be some deep-seated guilt about it for years, probably.]

I always thought it was my charming personality.

[ She grins widely, moving some pasta around with her fork. ]

Or, y'know, punishment. Especially with Larxene. Sometimes I wonder how things would've been with Marly if he hadn't shown up. Far as a coup goes, anyway.

Less horrible, anyway. They were together when I dreamed about them, you know. It threw me when it was only Marluxia at first.

[were they holding keyblades in her dream? they were holding something, maybe, mostly she was aware of their faces and their surroundings. she certainly wasn't privy to the information that they had some sort of connection to keyblades, along with Demyx and Luxord, if that was even true anyway.]

Right. At least it didn't take us long to find Tweedle Dumbass.

[ She can't wait to find out how this shit factors in or whatever. This is a lie, she could easily go the rest of her life with none of this being answered if it meant the bullshit ended. RIP to the Org but she's different. ]

[i mean it basically HAS ended, she'd be more than happy, if they ever go back again, to tell everyone else to fuck off and deal with it themselves re: Xigbar and whoever else. the kids can even go help as long as they promise not to get killed.]

I couldn't believe it when they were brought back for the new Organization. But Xehanort had full control, if she wanted, so I suppose whether they wanted to be there or not was irrelevant.

What was the goal there? Bringing those guys back? Bringing Demyx back. Was it just the numbers?

[ Like, they contributed nothing except to be defeated and trigger some final boss nonsense. ]

[Isa shrugs and leans back in her chair a little.]

I think so. I don't know why she didn't just scoop everyone up in Radiant Garden, instead of just me and Braig. I'm glad she didn't, but I don't know why.

[things would've been very, very different if Lea had also been made into a Nobody again. Isa probably would've tried to just get herself and Lea out, at that point.]

[ That's actually a pretty good question, and it has Lea thinking about what she would have done in that situation. It never really occurred to her that they took Isa and Braig for any reason except... I don't know, seeming the most likely to go along with it? But that seems wrong too. ]

Search me. What happened, anyway? When you woke up, I mean. Did you get a choice in anything? Would it have mattered who they chose?

No. As far as I could tell she wanted me back because I'd been marked as a vessel from the start, and she knew I would at least pretend to be loyal. But I had no choice in it. I remember dying in the Impasse at Sora's hands, and then I woke up a Nobody in my own room in the castle being watched by Xemnas, Xigbar, and the younger Xehanort.

[she rubs absently at her scar, frowning into her pasta. tbh at least she had Xemnas, there.]

Think I just wasn't worth the trouble?

[ What a soothing thought to her soul. She would never have cooperated. Never. It would've been a constant struggle until she died again.

She's gonna reach across the table and lay her hand out, palm up. ]